HlavCo Intl. » Internal Communication

Security: Do Not Let this Lion on the Premises

Mr. Hlava's Personal Assistant — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 08:05:19 +0000

Security alert: This former employee has made various incoherent threats against Mr. Hlava. Not only is he not allowed on the premises but if you see him, you may shoot to kill.

eMemo: Fire Alarm Monday

Mr. Hlava's Personal Assistant — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 13:28:40 +0000

This Monday we will conduct our periodic fire alarm testing at all HlavCo Intl. subsidiaries.

The test will begin at 8 a.m. and conclude at 4:45 p.m. If during that time you do not hear a fire alarm going off, please make your way to the nearest exit as there is a real fire.

Regards,
Mr. Hlava’s Personal Assistant

eMemo: Extended Halloween Dress Code

Mr. Hlava's Personal Assistant — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 11:35:23 +0000

Mr. Hlava has requested that the Halloween dress code be extended from immediately until October 31 at all HlavCo Intl. subsidiaries.

In addition to the mandatory dressing-up-in-a-costume from now until October 31, we ask that you bring candy to work each morning and deposit it in the box that will be at the front door of every subsidiary.

Mr. Hlava advises that you do not come dressed as “yourself” or “an employee” or any derivative thereof. Also, do not dress as a vampire, as that will be Mr. Hlava’s surprise costume this week.

Regards,
Mr. Hlava’s Personal Assistant

eMemo: Hot-Air Balloon Rides Canceled

Mr. Hlava's Personal Assistant — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 11:28:08 +0000

Due to recent world events, the hot-air balloon rides, sponsored by HlavCo’s Get High Rides hot-air balloon travel service have been canceled.

Mr. Hlava and all of us at HlavCo Intl. send our deepest condolences to all balloons that have perished, from the recent incident in Colorado to the Hindenburg.

We will send along a picture of a balloon for you to Photoshop yourself into.

Regards,

Mr. Hlava’s Personal Assistant

eMemo: Casual Wednesday Mornings

Mr. Hlava's Personal Assistant — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 13:58:53 +0000

Please note that with the end of the summer season comes the end of the annual Casual Wednesday Mornings dress code. As of now, you are no longer required to dress casually on Wednesday mornings, but the standard dress code of the white shirt, tie or bolo, slacks and black shoes still applies to the other working hours.

Sincerely,
Mr. Hlava’s Personal Assistant