Should I Invest in the Stock Market?
Dear Mr. Hlava,
I saw the other day that the stock market is back above 10,000 points. Do you know what a point is? Anyway, I’m wondering if I should invest my savings in the stock market. Considering how we have to work for you for 10 years to get any retirement benefits, I’m concerned that I can’t count on a HlavCo Intl. pension when it’s time for me to retire.
Sincerely,
Doris in Mail Services
Dear Doris,
Mail Services? What are we still doing with a mail room around here? If I were you, I would indeed be concerned for my future when your future is in mail. But to your question: You are both incredibly bright and insanely naive at the same time. When I read this question, I pictured you as my own human puppy. Yes, you are outstandingly correct and astute in your observations about the HlavCo Intl. retirement plan and our lack of intentions for providing for your retirement years. However, it’s laughable for me to think that you are entertaining thoughts of investing in stocks. Silly Doris, the stock market is for rich people – that’s why it’s in New York. That’s why you only see men on the floor of the stock exchange or talking out of their backsides on TV. The money from your cookie jar that you attempt to invest in one share of Google stock will be eaten away by these brokerage sharks with their fees and ideas – which are always good for them and bad for you. My suggestion would be for you to do something more realistic with your money, like buying lottery tickets or small ceramic dolls from the television. At least with the dolls, you’ll be able to con someone – like yourself – who is, I assume, equally old into spending a lot of money for a “collectible” purpose. As for what a “point” is in the Dow Jones Industrial Average, it’s a secret that only us rich people know. It’s like the chips at a casino table; they don’t want you to think about what things are really worth, so instead here’s something colorful, numeric and anonymous to look at. Hey, a casino – how are your blackjack skills, Doris?
Sincerely,
Richard Hlava, CEO
Comments are closed.
